A Woman's Voice
All good things must come to an end, and so it is with this blogging site. I have used this site as a place to post for my college class, which is now over. You can visit my personal blogging site or email
me.
Once again I'm astounded by
How far we've come. When I read the beauty of words (like those written here):
I tried to touch the moon this morning before it dipped behind the trees, but I got icy cold car window against the tips of my fingers instead. The northern lights reminded me how far I've come away from the tides that used to salt my seashore. How far I've changed from the young woman who drove back and forth across the continent on a whim. With my baby strapped in her car seat sucking babas then fingering chubby books then reading while I raced the Amtrack along the Columbia River Gorge or chased the sunset passed Vallejo to my Indian Valley. How do those astronauts climb into those shuttles and capsules to rocket off the face of the earth away from daughters and dogs and the smell of bacon and the squirt of grapefruit and twenty four hour days?
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It isn't just that we've come from raising babies to writing poetry. It's that we can come across country by ourselves. We can come into our own history. We can write it ourselves.
True, we may feel like we are not living a deliberate life, but it is one of our own choosing. (Even though life can get hectic and make us forget that.) Right now, this is the deliberate life we've chosen. Books, assignments, classes, readings and writings and more readings and writings. (We can rest when we are old.)
I read (with interest) Tammy's
movie review of Ella Enchanted and wanted to comment on the movie. I also enjoyed the movie-for what it was- a Cinderella story. But, that really got me thinking about how we women are raised to believe the Cinderella story. We are somehow endoctrinated to believe that a "Prince Charming" will come along on a white horse and take us away to a land where all will be sweetness and light.
This belief leads to many problems. First, there is no Prince Charming who can make us happy. It is up to each of us to be happy with ourselves, and not to believe that there is any other person who can bring happiness to us. It is such a cop out to adopt the belief that it is up to someone else to make us happy. We need to be able to do that for ourselves. If our happiness depends on someone else, we can never truly be happy, because we will always have the reality or fear of them failing us.
Second, there is no Prince Charming who will "take care of us." Each of us need to be responsible for getting an education, finding a job, and being financially and physically responsible for our own self. If we are dependent on some man to take care of us, we also relinquish our power to him. We give up our personal identity and become an extension of him.
I'm sure most men would be relieved to know that they don't have to be responsible for everything. A marriage should be made of equal partners, not of one person sucking the life out of the other. Relationships should be based on two people offering their best to the other, for the mutual benefit of both.
We need to educate our daughters to reality- not to some myth. There is no Prince Charming, just as there is no Fairy Godmother.
To those who applied for a Graduate Assistantship, here is a
related article on just how lucky I feel to be teaching next year in our very fine English department.
Erin, I couldn't be more disgusted with the site you advised feminists to take a look at. I won't even link it. It is at http://drd69.blogspot.com, if any of you want to be disgusted. Absolutely pitiful.
I am not blaming you. I realize you are just pointing this out so we can see just how bigoted some men can be. Thanks for that insightful point of view. For some reason, I can't see anything on your blog, Erin.
If you want to feel good today, there is something you can do about it. You can write in your blog. According to
this site, writing in your own blog makes you feel like you are somebody. She says:"Blogs let you remember what you think, what you feel, what you say, how you say it, what you care about and how you live in this world actually matters."
Blogs remind us WE MATTER.
This is important stuff. We, as women, need to know that we do matter. Too many people are just waiting to put us down.
Tammy emailed me with info on this site and I'll just let her explain it.
"This is the most complete site I have ever come across for explaining and giving examples of forms and expressions that VERBAL and EMOTIONAL abuse (the two most elusive types) can take on. In my opinion, the silent or private characteristics of these types of abuse do more to oppress women than anything else, including economic issues. When a woman feels her worth she is virtually unstoppable, no matter what her financial backing. It has been my experience that insecure men can not cope with the internal strength of a woman and resort to oppressing her through either or both of these abuses."
Check this
out, and you will know what she is talking about.
Right on, sister!
My classmates are providing me with such interesting and informative sites that I just can't keep up. Thanks,
Mary for pointing me to this
site, which examines war from a gender perspective. Here is an excerpt:
"Goldstein outlines the cultural factors that promote the gendering of war, such as the construction of norms that link men's identity as masculine with their willingness to fight. To claim the status of "manhood," men have to be willing to endure the trauma of war; those who refuse to do so are castigated with demeaning epithets and are accused of not being "real men." To wage war effectively, men have to learn to suppress their emotions, especially fear and grief. Those who fail the tests of manhood are often publicly shamed and humiliated. Men who are unable to fight because of shell shock or posttraumatic stress disorder are frequently castigated as failing to meet the masculine ideals of independence and self-confidence."
What is doubly sad about this is that men who don't have a war in which to prove their masculinity, will sometimes try to prove it on their wives and families.
Found this
interesting site on combining work and kids. It seems to really explain the lives of working women. I'm sure
Audrey and
Tammy can relate to this poor lady's schedule.
Thanks for your email
Tammy. Yes, it is ironic that when one man wants to insult another, he will call the other guy a "pussy" or some other negative term. How is it that these negative terms come from gender issues? Why doesn't he call the other guy a "cock"? That wouldn't be negative, would it? They all know they have one. But to be called a "pussy" means that the guy is less than other men. He is weak and deserves to be publically humiliated.
